In late summer of 2000, my boyfriend told me about a little girl who was almost 10 years old. Her name was Cassandra. Born in Charleston, Cassandra was adopted by a family who loved her dearly (he hoped) and had moved to who-knows-where. She was his daughter, given up at birth into what would hopefully be a better life. He had not seen her since she was a few weeks old when he rocked her one last time, and said, "goodbye," for what he thought may be forever. He was 17.
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| Baby Cassandra, 3 weeks old, MUSC |
We celebrated her 10th birthday internationally. He was in Israel, I was in Vermont, and we had no idea where
she was. That little girl never left my mind, and she certainly never left his heart. Years later, my boyfriend became my husband, and we continued to celebrate Cassandra. We thought about her anytime we heard anything about adoption, we thought about her when we saw someone who maybe looked like her, we thought about her when she turned 13, 14, 15, etc. "She's driving now!" he would say. "She probably graduated from high school this year!" he marveled. "Will we ever get to meet her?," we wondered. "Is she happy?"
Fast forward to present time. After Cassandra turned 18, we knew that we could pursue her. But how? We had pretty much zero details to work with. We had no luck in our efforts, but kept trying. The hunt seemed futile. Last summer, the summer she turned 19, we were talking about Cassandra, and, literally, the very next day we ran into her birth mom's husband's brother (follow?!) in the parking lot at TJ Maxx in Greenville. No way! Donald seized the opportunity, got the birth mom's contact info, but... it was another dead end. He got nowhere, though he thought he was close. Frustration.
Last Monday was Cassandra's 20th birthday. The three nights before, Donald stayed up on the internet, continuing the search, as we both would every now and then, hoping that maybe something had changed since the previous search. He told me that he needed to somehow contact the social worker who handled the case...she was probably totally out of the system now, but she was an aunt of so-and-so, and just maybe he could track her down. Just maybe she could help.
He didn't get that far. On August 9, at 5:00am, Donald got up to shower before a 7:30 flight to Vegas for business. He called me into the bathroom, and I stumbled in, not knowing what in the world was going on. Mary Beth Spann doesn't wake up at 5:00am, so I knew it must be important. He was wide awake (not too odd) but stumbling over his words, saying something about searching for Cassandra or something and then handed me the phone. What happened next was the most surreal experience I've ever had. It was HER. She found him. On his phone was a message and a picture that absolutely brightened our world. Kirsten Marie, Donald's Cassandra, was finally found. How in the world?!? ...It really didn't matter.
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| Her message and this pic changed our lives forever! |
A week has passed, a glorious week, and Kirsten is in our lives. She is sweet, fun, gracious, and talkative like her daddy. She's beautiful. And a million other things that we are still learning. Her parents are amazing and were on board with her reaching out to Donald, which is huge. Kirsten is excited about Charley and Eli, a sister and brother she didn't know she had. A sister and brother who will never remember life without their big sister (Kurrrsten!! as Charley calls her). We are grateful for cell phones, and texting, and Skype and Facebook, because through these things we can get to know her... But, we are even more grateful for air travel. Our flights are booked and we will be on our way to see her next week!! It couldn't come soon enough. The day Donald has been waiting for for 20 years.
Me, the non-crier, has shed so many tears this week, it's ridiculous. I praise God for allowing this reunion to happen. He orchestrated it in His perfect timing, and may He receive all the glory. I am absolutely drowning in happiness and gratefulness, so you can only imagine what Donald is experiencing. It has been the best thing ever to share the news with our friends and family. Everyone's first guess is that I'm pregnant again, and second guess is that we are moving. We haven't even asked people to guess, but people just like guessing (I guess). Wellll....Not pregnant. Not moving. But REUNITED. REJOICING!!
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| We LOVE you, Kirsten! |
Let's see....other things.... He's a fast crawler now, a proficient cruiser, and is getting better and better at walking behind push toys. He actually will use anything as a push toy (chairs, stools, our big kitchen trash can), and prefers those things over things will wheels (probably b/c they're slower and more interesting since he's so curious). He's a good sleeper at night and does okay with naps. His morning nap is now an hour later, which pushes his afternoon nap later, which means he and Charley aren't exactly down at the same time, which is hard. I usually have maybe an hour of overlap time, which I'm grateful for, but it sure will be nice when they take a long nap at the same time!
